The Glittery Postpartum Project: Surviving the "New Mom" Life and Loving your Body after Baby

Dev
Jun 27, 2018
8 min read

Meet Our Project Models

Alysha, 23, mother of 1 (age 5)

Liz, 33, mother of 6 (ages 3, 6, 10, 11, 13, 16)

Jennifer, 25, mother of 2 (ages 2, 5)

Danyelle, 26, mother of 1 (3 months old)

These women are the face and the body of our postpartum project.

They all have different stories.

They all have different backgrounds.

They all have different struggles.

They all have different successes.

They are all women.

They are all mothers.

They are all warriors.

They are all strong.

These amazing women have all agreed to share their story with the world. Being the one to capture their essence and their strength and find the words to tell their stories is such an honor. Thank you to each of these mama's for being so brave and bearing your insecurities so that others may find comfort in knowing they're not alone.

Each mama that participated had her own reason for wanting to tell her story through this project.

"I want to do this project because I wanna show what PPD (Postpartum Depression) looks like, and show that sometimes it’s OK to not be OK" -Alysha

"I want to be a model for this project because I want to show moms that we are beautiful, unique and and STRONG. What our bodies go through during pregnancy and the after affects after the baby is born is bad ass. Every woman experiences postpartum differently, and I want to be one of the mothers to help show that." -Danyelle

"I’ve never really liked my body after children. One day my daughter came up to me and was playing with my section scar and looked at me and said 'Brother come out of mommy’s tummy, that’s beautiful' and gave me a kiss. I'm not too sure what it was but I looked at myself a whole different way. I know I will never be a size two again and have the model type body but I have something better; marks from when I gave my children life and there is nothing better than that. I want to show off these amazing scars and whatever else that proves I’m a mother" -Jennifer

"I [want to do this project] because most people would never know that I've had one baby let alone six. The reactions I get are amazing (sometimes rude) but damn I am proud to show this off after what my amazing body has been through!" - Liz

The basis of this project was to highlight not only the physical changes that a woman's body endures after creating life but also the mental changes as well. This project is all about the reality of postpartum and motherhood. None of the images in this post have had any skin or body re-touching. We want every mama to fully embrace every perfect little 'imperfection' they've been gifted throughout their life. Our scars and marks tell stories of what wonderful and full lives we've lived. Our body is a history and a combination of our lifetime of experiences.

Motherhood is an experience unlike anything else.

Motherhood can be a paradise. Motherhood can be a battle.

"I love being a mother. The love a parent has for their child you can never explain, but it can be rough too. Both my children have autism. Both are very different; my daughter is happy and smiling and is starting to make full sentences after she was in a program for two years. My son is a whole different story; he doesn’t smile or laugh a lot, he cries a lot because he has no other way to communicate with me"- Jennifer

"I love motherhood. Sometimes I wanna rip my hair out and some days are just like roses but I love my baby, she keeps me going" -Alysha

In this age of social media, far too often we only see the sunny side of everything: a flawless pregnancy, a picturesque birth, a perfect newborn and a graceful, glowing new mother. While it's not completely impossible for motherhood to truly look like that, it's not likely. Your life and your body undergo such a whirlwind of changes in such a short amount of time, it's completely understandable to feel overwhelmed and take some time to adjust! Everyone struggles with some aspect of becoming a mother.

Some women take to their new mother role quickly and easily, some take a little more time to adjust.

Some women's bodies "bounce back" within a week of giving birth, some remain changed for a lifetime.

Some women are ecstatic with their new lives, some struggle to accept their new reality.

Everyone handles change differently, the important thing is that we're all open to support each other during this incredible life change.

"Of course my body will never be the same but six babies later, damn I am proud!"- Liz

From the time you first found out you were pregnant until now, what did you struggle with the most?

"Freedom. I'm a very social person. And organizing" -Liz

"Depression, it took me awhile to be truly happy"-Jennifer

"Accepting help. I have this stubbornness that I tend to think I can do it all myself, and since becoming a mother I realize that it's totally okay if I don't have it. Getting help doesn't show a sign of weakness. I still struggle with it, but I've been getting better at accepting help!"-Danyelle

"Schedules and discipline. [The postpartum period was] hard, extremely depressing and extremely tiring" - Alysha

Physically, motherhood is a big change .

Mentally, motherhood is a big change.

It's OK to struggle with either or both of these aspects, motherhood is f*#!ing difficult!

I think it would be awfully hypocritical of me to expect these women and every other woman out there to be transparent and open about their struggles if I didn't share mine as well.

Want the reality of being a new mom? Here's my brutally honest rendition of the first three months of my son's life.

Physically, you are enslaved by this demanding tiny human. Every minute of your life, day and night, is at the will of this ten pound tyrant. Hours on hours of being stuck on the couch in an endless cycle of feed, sleep, change, repeat.

"But newborns are always sleeping, don't have you have tons of free time being home all day?"

Go ahead and try to move a sleeping newborn from your arms into their crib, I dare you. You can be more careful than if you were setting down a motion activated bomb, it makes no difference. They will wake up. And you will feel that rush of crushing disappointment and overwhelming frustration the second you hear that baby start scream again. Eventually, that tiny human will break you. Your body's need for sleep overcomes your own stubbornness to have babe sleep in their own crib and not on you.

So yes, newborns do sleep a lot, but only if you're also trapped. So no, I do not have 'a lot' of free time during the day, I can barely manage 3 minutes to go pee alone or scarf down a granola bar.

Physically, to everyone on the outside, it looks like I've "bounced back" quickly.

The reality; most days, I barely have time to eat anything while I'm also getting the life sucked out of me because my newborn nurses constantly. If it wasn't for frozen pizzas, frozen lasagnas or anything else that went straight from freezer to oven, dinner (or any other meal) would have been non-existent in our house for months.

Mentally, nothing prepares you for the isolation, utter frustration, and confusion that can come with being a new mom. Your entire life and sense of purpose gets turned upside-down. You can lose your sense of self-identity in becoming a mom. Before having kids, you could define yourself through your career, your interests and hobbies, your friends, your partner. When all of that takes a backseat, sometimes you can feel like you're left with this shell of a person, who's only function is to keep this tiny human happy and a lot of the time, you feel like you can't even do that right.

Scrolling down your news-feed during those endless hours on the couch, you see everyone else out there, living their lives so easily, so carefree. It's hard not to feel trapped and weighed down by motherhood. Of course you love your baby more than anything but it's hard to say goodbye to the days of impromptu anything. Your entire life is scheduled around when the tiny human sleeps, eats, and plays. Sometimes it gets so exhausting trying to coordinate everything that you just give up all together, it's easier to just not leave the house and live in isolation.

You don't leave the house, your partner is gone to work all day, all those friends and family members that said they would come visit are busy with their own lives. You have no adult interaction for the entire day, maybe multiple days in a week. It's isolating and it's difficult.

Mentally, motherhood is the biggest, most intense emotional roller coaster I've ever been on. Sometimes you're so overwhelmed with adoration for this little baby, you feel like you could hug and squeeze them until they pop. Having that much love for someone is an indescribable and wonderful feeling. Other times you're so overwhelmed with frustration and anger when they won't stop crying or waking up that you need to put them down for a little bit and walk away.

It's heartbreaking to feel like you can't handle it, but it's going to be alright.

You weren't meant to handle this alone. It's OK to ask for help!

You need to take care of you, before you can take care of a tiny human. Everyone needs a break sometimes. Never be afraid or ashamed to put down baby down in their crib or somewhere safe so you can take a quick break to go scream and cry in a pillow for a few minutes. Hormones after having a baby can make emotions very intense which can be difficult to handle. Needing a few minutes to let those emotions simmer is completely fine.

We asked our project mamas what advice they would give to first-time expectant moms:

"Don’t over do it and treasure the time you have with your babies. Time moves way too fast" -Jennifer

"Know the signs of postpartum depression, accept help when it's offered even if you don't think you need it. I'm a stubborn independent mother that has struggled and still is struggling to accept help when it's offered. But accepting it makes your stresses lower and allows you to focus on yourself and your child. There are a lot of resources we have to help mothers!"-Danyelle

"Just keep busy and reach out if you’re feeling not yourself"- Alysha

"Get back to life , relax, enjoy every moment"- Liz

Motherhood is difficult enough without all the additional pressure to live up to some impossible standard of perfection like we see on television, movies or social media. The last thing a mother should have to worry about is being judged by another mom, another woman who's going through nearly the exact same thing.

Sometimes breastfeeding doesn't work out, sometimes that tummy doesn't snap back, sometimes the pressure is just too much to handle alone. No matter what part you're struggling with, the one thing that always makes it easier is knowing you're not alone.

As women, we need to start viewing our bodies as beautiful canvases upon which the story of our lives is painted. Embrace every scar and remember it's story.

When you see other women and look at their canvas, see if you can find common stories. Let these beautiful marks be what bonds us together instead of dividing us apart.

Support each other because we're stronger together.

Every mother is so strong and such a bad ass. Giving up your own life to raise a tiny human is such a huge responsibility and you are doing an amazing job.

You're allowed to be tired, you're allowed to accept help, you're allowed to take a break when you need it. Find your mom tribe. Bond with other women who also have tiger stripes. Talking to women who are going through the same struggles really helps to ease the changes you're experiencing. Motherhood and the postpartum period are incredibly difficult but doing it alone makes it much harder.

Be kind to one another, don't be afraid to reach out to another mama who might need a friend, and don't be afraid to give yourself a break once in a while. Additional information and resource links about the postpartum period and postpartum depression are listed at the bottom of this blog post.